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Why you always see me yawning

I get a lot of flack from people all day everyday about yawning and how I'm not allowed to do it.

First of all, you're not my mom. I do what I want. *yawn*

Secondly, I can't help it. I just did it now while writing that. I'll probably do it several more times before this thing is done. It's like my strongest, most useless talent. I yawn all the time.

But there's a reason. I'm not infected with incurable yawning disease. Though if there were a magic pill to fix this problem I'm down. But no, it's deeper than that.

I suck at sleeping. Not at the crawling into bed, slipping out of consciousness thing. I do that like a champ. I'll fall asleep any time anywhere, you just watch me!

But no. I suffere from some of the worst quality sleep possible because my brain is a big jerk.

Did you know the whole pinching yourself to see if you're asleep thing isn't always true? Fun fact! If you're like me, pain is just another part of the whole dreaming experience. Combine this skill of mine with the fact that, for some unexplained reason, my brain has a blast conjuring up all sorts of horrific nightmares for me to experience on a near daily basis. That's right, I dream almost one nightmare a night every time. Sometimes I get all the way to full-on gripping night terrors and that's a blast.

You wouldn't believe how hard it is to wake up feeling rested when you just felt the sensation of having your arms repeatedly cut by a sword. Or your chest carved open by a werewolf's claw. Or the piercing misery of being attacked by a large dog.

Yep, I've had those lovely dreams and yep, I've felt them all in impressive detail.

Not every nightmare I have is painful. Not every dream I have is a nightmare. Regardless, I dream in an exceptional level of detail. My mind races constantly while I sleep. Reports vary but I've been known to do everything from solve mathematical equations to speaking full on german while I toss and turn and flail like a crazy person. Sleep walking is a thing too. Ran into a wall once trying to catch my sheet that I was convinced was flying away from me. Not my proudest moment.

I also have another sweet habit of forming nonsensical arguments and then getting really defensive about them while I slowly come to my senses. While I can't draw any examples because they usually happen while I'm not entirely conscious. I know I've told someone nearby some collection of insanity with absolute certainty that I was right. As they'd begin to question the ludicrous thing I just blabbed on about, I would start to argue back and try to use the logic that had just held the whole idea together. Sadly, I as I continue to wake up further, I begin to lose the logic because, wouldn't you know it, there was none in the first place. It was all crazy. And not until I fully wakeup am I finally able to get my brain back in check.

In short, I'm pretty crazy. Constant floods of information are ever consuming my mind while I sleep. It makes for a very restless process that is only hindered further by being a really like sleeper who wakes up several times a night every night without fail. (Before you ask, I have tried all the classic remedies to combat this. They haven't helped. But thank you for thinking of my sanity). Between the fear, the immense detail and the surprising amount of physical pain I have been known to suffer, I apologize for not being particularly alert while I'm wandering the world the next day. I wish I could sleep more soundly and rest more effectively. I really do, but it's just not in the cards.

There is a silver lining to all this though. It was the insane level of detail and the impressive recall of that crazy information that eventually led to the creation of Encoded. That's right. MemCor in all its cruelty is the product of a dream I had several years ago. I woke up in a panic when it was all over and the details hung with me all this time. Good job brain. Years of poor sleep habits and you gave me a book idea. We're almost even.

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